We’ve all experienced a meeting where the leader poses a question, and suddenly, there’s an awkward silence. Time seems to slow down, and the silence becomes uncomfortable. This scenario is common in many work environments, but how a leader handles it can greatly impact team morale and the overall sense of psychological safety. Simon Sinek’s podcast series, A Spark of Optimism!, recently gave some great insight into how silence can be golden.
When a meeting reaches a lull or feels unproductive, it’s normal for leaders to feel frustrated and tempted to call on people randomly to get things moving. However, communications expert Elisabeth Cardiello suggests that leaders should resist this impulse.
Calling on people doesn’t mean the typical interactions where leaders ask for updates or feedback, which are standard expectations in meetings. Instead, it refers to the moments when a leader, faced with silence, puts someone on the spot to answer, even though they might not be ready or willing to do so.
“Calling on people can feel like a throwback to school days,” says Cardiello. “It’s reminiscent of being asked to solve a problem in front of the class when you’re unsure of the answer. This creates unnecessary anxiety.”
This tactic can undermine team members’ confidence, increase stress, and diminish the sense of trust and safety in the group. In trying to foster engagement, leaders might unintentionally harm the team’s cohesion. It reduces psychological safety in the meeting.
So, how do you navigate those uncomfortable pauses in meetings? Instead of falling back on classroom-style tactics, Cardiello advises leaders to embrace these pauses as moments for thoughtful reflection. Silence often indicates that people are processing information, reflecting on their responses, or considering how to contribute. Let your team know that it’s okay to take their time. When given space, they will likely offer more thoughtful insights.
For virtual meetings, Cardiello suggests using a “popcorn style” approach, where participants volunteer to speak without being called on. “Whoever wants to share first unmutes themselves and speaks. Once they’re done, they re-mute, and the next person can jump in,” she explains. This method allows for voluntary participation, whether the meeting is online or in-person, creating a more comfortable and natural flow of conversation. At ASE, we use the hand-raise feature in Teams.
This approach helps avoid pressuring anyone to speak before they’re ready. It promotes a relaxed atmosphere where people can contribute meaningfully at their own pace.
The next time you’re leading a meeting and encounter a silence, view it as an opportunity for reflection rather than something to rush through. You might get more meaningful answers, once someone is ready to speak up. How do you handle silence in a meeting? Email me at mcoraddo@aseonline.org.
By Mary E. Corrado, courtesy of SBAM-approved partner, ASE.
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